I never imagined spending a semester as a guest professor at an international seminary would prompt a theological crisis. Yet that’s exactly what happened in 2010 while teaching at the Lutheran Theological Seminary in Tshwane (Pretoria), South Africa.
When I arrived in South Africa, externally, I was on top of the world. A recently finished ministry leave of absence designed to focus on family issues was behind me. Based on the metrics established, the time was successful. It was time to step back into the limelight as an international guest professor. Given that teaching is an area of strength and a role that inspires confidence, I was ready to shine.
But internally, I was a mess. My life, a house of cards built on the easily shaken table of performance-based acceptance. Feelings of unworthiness fueled a sex addiction. But rather than seeking help, I denied the existence of my addiction and thought finding my ministry groove would make the temptation go away.
Then came my theological crisis.