I have an ongoing issue with the muscles in my back. Sometimes it's in my upper back, sometimes it's in my lower, but on occasion, the muscles will completely freak out and knot up so tightly that I'm immobilized for a few days. When this happens, I end up needing some form of treatment, be it physical therapy, massage, chiropractic, acupuncture, or cupping (another form of Traditional Chinese Medicine), to get the muscles to loosen up so I can return to my daily life.

Anyway, a few months ago my back had me out of commission and, on this occasion, because there seemed to be something going on that was more nerve based than muscular, I ended up going to a chiropractor who, after a couple visits, also added in massage treatment. Now I'll be the first to say that I love alternative medicine, not only because I appreciate how the practitioners are focused on restoring health over eliminating symptoms, but also because those who work in these kinds of practices typically aren't Christian and we get to have some really good conversations as God uses their hands to bring healing to my body ... which is exactly what happened with my massage therapist.

I'm not sure what got the whole thing started, but I'm sure it began with a question about what I do for a living.

I'm a pastor.

You don't look like a pastor.

What's a pastor supposed to look like?

I don't know, but not like you.

Well, I guess I'm not the kind of pastor you're used to meeting.

I don't think you're the kind of Christian I'm used to meeting either.

While we had a number of conversations over the four or five massage sessions, one that sticks out in my mind concerned sin. I'm sure it began with her asking my thoughts about some specific sin issue and me, as I typically do, changing the flow of the conversation a bit.

You see, for the most part, I'm really not interested in creating a list of sins and then pointing fingers at people who are guilty of them. Yes, lists can be helpful if we want to discuss the formation of a healthy society, after all, killing your neighbor is worse than not returning his lawn mower, however, when what we do or don't do becomes the basis of our relationship with God, and Christians begin to think they're better off that the person down the street who does, well, whatever it is that they do, we're in trouble. So, rather than making a list of sins and then ostracizing people who don't see those things as sinful, I find it more valuable to talk about the nature of sin ... or better yet, our sinful nature.

What do you mean by that?

Well, some people argue that we do certain sinful actions, you know, the stuff that shows up on "sin lists", and those actions make us sinners. I think that's the wrong order. I think there is something corrupt in our very nature and because we're completely jacked up from the start, that we do any number of things that appear on people's "sin lists", as well as a whole litany of other things that aren't on those lists, because we are sinful and self-serving.

So you think people, from the start, are completely messed up?

Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I love people, I just think we're innately selfish, so much so, that even the good things we do, are done so we can feel good about ourselves or so somebody else will think good things about us.

That's kind of negative, isn't it?

That's kind of negative, isn't it? I'm not sure where the obsession with being positive about everything began, and I'm sure it happened long before Oprah began pushing it to her millions of followers, but whatever the origins, I for one believe it's time to reconsider our emphasis on always being positive about ourselves and our abilities. Let me offer a few reasons why:

• It devalues the gifts of others. Perhaps the easiest example of this was when schools stopped giving first place ribbons for kids at field day, and instead, gave everybody a ribbon for trying because they didn't want kinds to think bad things about themselves. The truth is, some kids are good at sports and should have positive thoughts about their athletic performance. Other kids, like me, well, we suck in those kinds of competitions and to give us the same reward as the kids who are talented, well, it just makes a mockery of their skill.
  
• It promotes dishonesty. Just as the field day ribbons devalues the achievements of those who are truly gifted in a certain area, it also promotes dishonesty in those who are rewarded without achieving.
  
• It's a setup for disappointment. You know those kids who audition for American Idol and they've been fed all kinds of positivity by their family and friends about their ability as a singer, only to get in front of the judges and become the nation's laughing stock? That's the extreme version of something that happens day in and day out where people do the best they can and think as positively as they can, only to fail. They get crushed by reality because they'd been told to just think and be positive, even if the objective was beyond their skill level.

For these intertwined reasons, I think our obsession with positive thinking has done a great job of creating a disillusioned and unhealthy society.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not supporting the idea of just giving up and walking away from everything, rather, as you might guess from above, I'm just talking about being honest, which begins with admitting that positive isn't the right word for what we've been feeding ourselves, rather, the word to describe what we've come to believe is deception, and therefore the antonym isn't negative but honesty. In theory, being honest shouldn't be exceptionally difficult in areas like athletic prowess, intellectual aptitude, or vocal abilities, however, when it comes to who we are at the core, being honest means admitting that we are selfish, and that's hard, near impossible.

To jump back to my conversation with my massage therapist, that's the key issue in sin ... as much as some people like their lists, it's not about the specific things we do, it's about who we are, and who we are will often have us doing things that outwardly look fine, but are inwardly all about us. Sin is about us putting ourselves in the center ... it's about us treating ourselves as if we are God, even if we're too pious to be honest about it. Oddly, this is where the power part of the equation initiates.

In the beginning of Matthew 18 Jesus' disciples come to him with the question, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" Now, if we still believed in lists I'm sure we could come up with a lovely set of characteristics and behaviors that would exemplify someone who'd achieve standing as the greatest, but we've already disbanded this notion, which is good, because if we were holding onto it, we'd find ourselves disappointed with Jesus' answer. Jesus, as he does so often, answers the question through an illustration, one that begins with placing a child in the middle of the crowd, a move that must have prompted people to begin to wonder what was about to happen. Then come the immortal words from the mouth of Jesus, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." The crowd must have been in shock.

Become like children?

Did he really just say that?

We're supposed to be dependent for everything?

Is he really saying that I'm weak and insufficient?

But children are incapable of doing anything on their own!

And that's exactly Jesus' point ... and that's exactly my point. Being honest, even if the world tries to convince us that it's negative thinking, puts us in the position of being the child that Jesus is talking about. Being honest results in us admitting that, when it comes to our relationship with God, we have nothing to offer because even our best is an attempt to move ourselves into his throne. Being honest unseats us and puts us in a position to receive the kingdom of heaven and all the good gifts that God desires to give us. Let's think through some of those gifts:

• Freedom from the past. We all have dirt in our lives. Regrets. Failures. Those disappointments that resulted from all our positive thinking letting us down. Jesus offers us freedom from those things by inviting us daily to leave yesterday behind and start anew. What's happened is done, and in the cosmic picture it's gone, so don't let what happened then define who you are today. You're free from your past!
• Confidence to live today. As you look at today, you don't have to worry. Step out, do your best with what you've got, and know that Christ is in control. If something wonderful happens, something beyond your ability, praise him because he's the one who made it happen. If you fail, in the grand scheme of things, Jesus has already won, so there wasn't any pressure on you anyway. Just live today!
• Hope for the future. God uses the crap of life as fertilizer, so when things seem hopeless, trust that out of brokenness God will grow something beautiful ... even if we never get to see it or understand its beauty. Beyond that, when things are good, enjoy it know that as good as it is, it's nothing compared to what Christ has in store for you. Wherever you are today, God has perfection awaiting around the corner!

Think about that, a well-rooted and unshakable freedom, confidence, and hope. There's the power of negative thinking ... and the results are very positive.