beer

Last week, thanks to a reference from a friend, I went to a holistic doctor whose primary background is in chiropractics, but has also done a lot of study in the area of digestion and systemic health. While there wasn't any specific thing that was wrong with me, for years I've had issues getting to sleep, I haven't slept soundly, and, if I wake up in the middle of the night, I can't go back to sleep. This obviously isn't a healthy thing and will, eventually, take a toll on my body, so I figured I'd see if this guy had proposed solutions for me.

Before going, they had me fill out a seven page packet that included my personal history, a wide variety of health related questions, and all sorts of other stuff. Based on the way things were grouped, I knew that they had intentionally been organized and was impressed at how many checks showed up in one box of symptoms, and how few there were in other boxes. At the same time, I wondered if, after checking a couple, I was more inclined to answer yes to "on the fence" questions.

When the appointment began, the doctor began asking me a set of more specific questions about my personal health, ranging from current patterns and eating habits to childhood illnesses and family health history. Then he moved on to my ethnic background.

After going through all this he offered his conclusion, which directly addressed my sleep issues. Essentially, he said that my body, based on what I've been putting into it (although I'm sure my pace of life also plays into this as well), is in a constant state of shock, almost as if I'm living in a war zone. Because of this constant state of alertness, I have issues getting to sleep, sleeping well, and staying asleep.

While at this point I was curious, I wasn't totally sold. Then he had me lay down on the table. He started doing more typical medical stuff, like poking and prodding. Everything seemed normal until he pressed down on the left side of my stomach and my whole body reacted pain. He looked at me and said, "See, that's your inflamed intestine." As he went on, there were some kidney things and a liver deal, but repeatedly, it was the intestine that cause me the greatest issue.

A bit more sold on the whole idea but still holding a healthy skepticism, he then went on to the food allergy testing, which involved me holding up my left arm and resisting as he tried to pull it back to my side. As he did this, he would hold small vials with varying contents over my stomach and nose. For the first number of vials nothing changed and I was beginning to think I was wasting my money. Then, all of a sudden, a pain shot up my arm and my strength was sapped. He smiled and said, "That's gluten." A moment later, the same thing happened with dairy.

When all was said and done his basic conclusion was that my system really needs to be flushed out so I can reboot and put the right kinds of food into my body (this means eating a lot of fish and avoiding gluten and dairy, along with spinach, broccoli, tomatoes and asparagus ... and yes, much to my annoyance, I know gluten is in both beer and whiskey).

So, am I going to try it? Yes, and I'll even hold off on beer (well, I'll have the gluten free stuff if I can find some that's good) and whiskey until my body has been cleansed and rebooted, but first, we're going to have Anita get checked out and see if a number of her issues, which includes poor thyroid function and excessive sleeping, also have answers and what her foods might be ... which, if they are the same, would simplify cooking once we've flushed out our systems.

I'll let you know how it goes.

So, it's been a week since I picked up my iPhone and it was right about this time 7 days ago when I received that first text and realized that, somehow, despite iTunes having all kinds of issues activating the phone, that I was now live. So, what's been the impression so far? Is it just a toy, or is it a productivity aid? While there are certainly some toy features, there have been a number of other things that move beyond the toy and into the realm of productive. For example:

SMS - I text a lot. For both my ministry and personal life, this is my most common method of communication. The iPhone, with the exception of pictures sent via text, is awesome, simply because it keeps a running conversation that I can easily scroll through ... which is especially nice if I happen to have some time where I can't text and then need to step back into a conversation.

email - Most of the email I get demands about 30 seconds of response time. With the iPhone, I can take any free moment here or there, and clear out the inbox, leaving only stuff that takes longer to deal with. This has greatly reduced my email time on my lap and desktops.

GPS - This feature rocks. Tell the iPhone to find where you are, tell it where you want to go, and it guides you step-by-step, even allowing you to watch yourself as you move on down the road.

Internet - It's not built for huge amounts of surfing, but when you need to find something quickly and in a setting where you don't have email, you can't beat having the whole web at your fingertips.

OmniFocus - My to-do list is always with me, ready to either add new items or check off old ones ... hard to beat the productivity of that.

On the not as productive but still very helpful front, here's a couple free apps:

Shazam - This is one of the coolest apps out there. If you like listening to the radio, but hate that you don't know who plays that song you love, Shazam is the answer. Just hold your iPhone up to the speakers, let it record a bit, and within seconds you'll have the artist, title, album, YouTube links, and connections to buy the song in iTunes. I tested it out on really old David Crowder and it didn't work, but it worked on just the intro for a song on the new album.

Pandora - The Pandora app rocks as it allows me to play a wide variety of commercial free music that's based on the musical style rather than any one particular artist. Very cool!

So, what's the next piece of life enhancing technology that I'm going to go for? I'm thinking this video that Anita sent provides the answer (assuming they develop a version that works for bottles):

A few years ago a friend of mine was in a liquor store and ran across a bottle of beer that he determined was named after me. The name, Arrogant Bastard.

The bottle shares about the beer by boldly declaring that you, the drinker, are not worthy of it. It goes on to describe itself this way:

This is an aggressive beer. You probably won't like it. It is quite doubtful that you have the taste or sophistication to be able to appreciate an ale of this quality and depth. We would suggest that you stick to a safer and more familiar territory - maybe something with a multi-million dollar ad campaign aimed at convincing you it's made in a little brewery, or one that implies that their tasteless fizzy yellow beer will give you more sex appeal. Perhaps you think multi-million dollar ad campaigns make a beer taste better. Perhaps you're mouthing your words as you read this.

Well, the other night I stopped at a liquor store on the way home from a meeting and discovered that the arrogance had grown and you could now get Oaked Arrogant Bastard Ale. As the name would imply, it's Arrogant Bastard Ale that has been aged in oak wood chips. Needless to say, I had to buy a six pack and it is mighty tasty! So, how do they describe this version?

Too many strive towards complacency as a goal. They stop their urge and desire for discovery somewhere between youth and adulthood. And when they find their complacency threatened, they do everything to recover the warm, fuzzy feeling of that lost complacency as quickly as possible. Throughout every culture, every country, and every way of thought you will find it. We grow up thinking that the ability to become complacent is the equivalence of success in life. True Arrogant Bastards know that this could not be further from the truth. The real beauty, richness and depth in life can only be found if the journey through life itself is looked upon as a constant chance to learn, live and find life's passion. Passion threatens the complacent, and fills them with fear. Fear of the new, the deep and the different. We, on the other hand, seek it out. Endlessly, joyously ... and aggressively. To this end we bring you the "Oaked Arrogant Bastard Ale". Another reward for those seeking new sources of passion, and another point of dissension for those who are not.

So, based on their description, am I oaked?